To address your child's need to find some control in his world while curbing willful tendencies. If he's strong-willed, this may reflect either a natural desire to be a leader, or a deep need to be heard and noticed. This activity helps your child develop the leader emerging within him, while giving him appropriate boundaries.
Create a scenario with your child that allows him to become a leader in the family. Choose a specific family event, job, or activity, and have him set goals for what he wants to achieve as the leader. It may be helpful to pick an activity that revolves around a power struggle you have with him, such as getting ready in the morning-in which case you may have him lead the family in the morning preparation routine.
Allow him as much autonomy as possible, and be sure he knows that you support him in carrying out the leadership role. In addition, make him aware of his responsibility for the success or failure of the leadership activity.
Your child will learn to channel his or her leadership desires and skills into appropriate situations as well as understand the consequences of ineffective leadership.