Parenting Advice for Divorced Parents

Divorce has a multitude of effects on kids, not the least of which is the confusion that may arise from different parenting styles. While kids and parents are all living in the same household, differing parenting styles may be overshadowed by one parent or another. However, when parents divorce, they often look at their new separate lives as an opportunity to do things the way they feel is best. The problem is that such tactics can be detrimental for kids. Preschoolers and kindergartners need consistency. rules, consequences, and routines need to remain relatively consistent as kids travel back and forth between mom's and dad's houses. Keeping things consistent not only helps kids feel safe and secure, it teaches them that manipulating one parent or the other isn't going to be possible. It's important to remember that just because you've dissolved your partnership doesn't mean you're not still co-parents of the kids you both love.

Divorced Parents: Nobody's Perfect

Keeping kids thriving during and after divorce takes a lot of effort. During the marriage, one parent may have dealt with the children more than the other parent. Now that you have split as a couple, the parent that wasn't as hands on as the other will need to work into his/her new role. Neither of you is going to work through this time of transition perfectly. You will both make mistakes. Remember, the goal is to raise health, happy children regardless of how you feel about each other. So, if you fall of the perfect parent wagon, just brush yourself off and get right back on.

Co-Parenting

Even as you work through your feelings about the end of your relationship, you and your ex need to present a united front. Just as you need to keep separate but consistent homes, it's important to tackle big issues together. You expect your child to respect each of you as parents; to show him how this is possible, you'll need to model the behavior. If you don't respect the other parent, neither will your child. Talk to your child about important issues and work together to address his questions and concerns about the divorce honestly and in an age-appropriate manner. Divorce isn't easy on anyone, but it can be especially confusing for kids. Don't let your parenting fall by the wayside as you struggle to adjust to your new life. Your child is an innocent bystander and needs help adjusting too.