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Helping Your Child Make Friends

Most kids make friends easily, but there are children that don't seem to fall into friendships and need a bit of help. Although it's easy to assume that shy children will always have a problem making friends, even outgoing children may need an extra nudge now and then. Helping your child make friends is a delicate process that involves more exposure and suggestion than it does pushing.

5 Parenting Tips to help your Child Make Friends

  • Modeling Behavior. Parents naturally model behavior. To help your child make friends, it's important to be a role model. Maintain healthy and generous friendships, and your child will likely follow suit.
  • Schedule Activities. Kids can only make friends if they are exposed to other people. Make sure that your child has plenty of opportunities to socialize with kids his own age. Try reading groups, play dates, sports, church groups, and any other activities that may give your child a chance to interact on both individual and group levels.
  • I Don't Like Boys/Girls! Inevitably, your child will declare that he/she doesn't like kids of the opposite gender. To convince him that girls don't have cooties, schedule some play time with a neighbor or friend with a child of the opposite gender. If one-on-one time doesn't work out well at first, try a lunch/play date with moms and kids at a nearby play palace or playground.
  • The Loner Child. Some kids really like to play alone or with just one friend. Although this is ok some of the time, your child needs exposure to groups. The lessons learned through group activities will help your child socially later on.
  • Coax, Don't Push. Many parents are frustrated by the child that clings to them the entire party and then, just as the party is about to end, she warms up and decides to play. Some kids just take more time than others to warm up. Not to worry, your child will slowly but surely warm up easier as she gets older. When faced with a child that doesn't make friends easily, it's important to coax her into new situations. New faces can be scary for some kids, and just tossing them into the mix may make your child feel unsure and uneasy. Talk to your child about making friends, what he/she would like to do, and what other kids are doing that looks fun. She will eventually branch out and participate without your help.

Watch and Learn.

Sometimes, parents just don't understand how their child's personality affects their friendships. Watch your child at play. Does she make friends easily or stand on the sidelines? Is she easily bullied? Does he have trouble sharing? Does he have a meltdown when things don't go his way? You can help your child direct his behavior toward a more socially acceptable way of being and becoming a friend. Every kid is going to encounter a friend that just isn't good for him. A bully or a child with whom your child is having a conflict can be confusing for your child. Talk to your child and work with him in developing skills to deal with bullies, and teach him how to walk away if the conflict is irresolvable. Sometimes, it may be necessary to redirect your child's attention to other friendships as well.