Four Tips for Managing Play Dates

Most kids naturally develop play relationships with other children. Neighbors, cousins, and siblings are all readily available playmates. Your child has probably been playing with other children for a while. However, as your child enters the preschool and kindergarten years, his social life will likely be expanding to include other children. Play is an important factor in a child's development. Through play, kids learn cooperation, problem solving, and explore the world around them.

Even if your child has a rich pool of friends and relatives he plays with, you'll probably find that you will be scheduling formal and informal play dates for him. To ensure that play dates are successful – yes, there are good play dates and bad play dates – there are a four playdate ground rules you should follow.

Playdate Rule 1: Three's a Crowd

The most successful play dates, at least for very young children, are one-on-one. Three kids on a play date usually means that someone will get left out. Arranging a play date with only one other child stacks the odds in your child's favor. Without a third influence, two kids are more likely to engage in cooperative play.

Playdate Rule 2: Avoid Marathons

Older kids love sleepovers and weekend parties. However, younger children are more likely to get bored, tired, and cranky. Keep play dates to one or two hours and everyone should have a good time and look forward to the next play date.

Playdate Rule 3: Don't Force Friendships

Believe it or not, even young kids have very distinct preferences when it comes to who they want to be friends with. It's not a good idea to arrange a play date based on who you think your child wants to play with. Ask him who he'd like to have over and then follow through.

Playdate Rule 4: Meet the Parents

Play dates are a great opportunity for social development, but many children balk at being dropped off at a strange house. Because young children need only an hour or two for a play date, this is a great time for parents to get to know each other. Schedule a play date at the park or at your home where you and the other child's parent(s) can sit and talk while supervising your children. Sometimes a play date just doesn't work out. Kids that don't get along may argue, bite, kick, or bully. Talk to your child about bad behavior, but don't place blame for not getting along on either child, just move on.