Moving Past The

One of the hardest things about raising a child is letting them figure out things on their own. It may be hard to do but if you don't do it now it's going to turn into something much more challenging and serious in the future, such as separation anxiety. You want your child to realize that they can do things on their own and they don't need help with every little task. It's hard to be separated from your child and it may be hard to resist the urge to "jump in" and help them complete a task or responsibility, but it's an important part of learning how to grow up. Moving past the "Pick Me Up Mommy" phase takes a lot of hard work and dedication from both you and your child.

Ways for your Child can Become More Independent:

• Be patient. If you assign a specific job or task to your child it clearly is going to take them longer to complete than if you were doing it. You should know that upfront and allow them to take their time completing the task. Don't rush them and jump in just for the sake of finishing the task faster.
• Watch, but from a distance. If you're standing over your child while they try to complete a task by themselves it might make them feel anxious or rushed. You want your child to know they can take their time and that it's better to slow down and do something right the first time.
• Practice being absent. You don't need to spend every waking moment next to your child, even though you might feel that you need to be close to them at all times. It's important to have your child spend time with others and not only you. This will cut down on the chances of separation anxiety and also let them know that things will be okay, even when you're away.
• Be confident about saying goodbye. Your departure is going to be rough on your child and they will get upset, but the last thing that they need is to see you breaking down as well. You need to stay strong so that your child realizes that everything will be okay and that you'll be back soon.
• Most importantly, take it one day at a time. In no way should any of the above steps all be practiced in one day. It takes time to be able to separate yourself from your child and as such, it takes a while for them to build independence skills.

You need to be patient when trying to teach your child to be more independent, but not too patient. You don't want to rush through the steps but you also don't want to not practice them at all. If your child doesn't learn independence at a young age they will practice helplessness at an older age.